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Administrator
Administrator
14915 Posts
Gratitude: 577
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 Posted - 09/23/2007 : 13:00:21
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Dear Members,
Research has shown that loneliness is often a problem in both schizophrenia and depression.
Loneliness is defined as:
Feels lonely with nobody to talk to; feels shut out and excluded by others. Could you please tell our community if loneliness was part of your schizophrenia, and what made this better or worse.
Your comments will greatly help others facing these same problems.
Phil Long M.D.
Administrator 
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| firebird
Amazing Member (1000+ posts)
1555 Posts
Gratitude: 525
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Posted - 09/23/2007 : 15:00:01
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| I often enjoy talking to people, I often start conversations even with people I dont know. I enjoy being part of a group and doing things with others. I have no problems with that. |
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| Jayster
Incredible Member (2000+ posts)
2021 Posts
Gratitude: 159
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Posted - 09/23/2007 : 15:31:06
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I have an extroveted personality with an introverting disease. I do start conversations with people, and additionally, I have had a lot of socialization in Alcoholics Anonymous and oter 12 Step meetings. I definitely have companions, and feel welcomed and included by others.
Jayster |
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| EmergingArtist
Incredible Member (2000+ posts)
9136 Posts
Gratitude: 813
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Posted - 09/24/2007 : 15:38:27
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quote:
Originally posted by PhilLongMD
...
- High: Has companions to talk to; feels welcomed and included by others
- Low: Feels lonely with nobody to talk to; feels shut out and excluded by others
Could you please tell our community if feeling lonely was part of your Schizophrenia, and what made this better or worse.
Hello Everybody,
I commonly feel on the low end of companionship ( I have companionship problems). I frequently feel very left out and persecuted. And I am not dx Schizophrenic.
-EA
unemployed
thirty-one-year-old Korean-American
married woman
diagnosed bipolar 1993
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| peewee
Amazing Member (1000+ posts)
1520 Posts
Gratitude: 486
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Posted - 09/26/2007 : 06:03:23
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Before I became ill I was always a quiet person but people were fond of me and I never felt excluded - it has always been my choice to exclude myself. The same applies to me now after developing schizophrenia but being on medication.
However, when I was not on medication I had people that were still fond of me but I was not able to have an easy going two way conversation with them. It was easier for me to try my best to get the words "Yes...yes...yes out?" But I couldn't elaborate. My head felt like I was in the clouds, the feeling of being high and not in touch with reality and the voices were quite loud which forced me to be more preoccupied with the symptoms that I struggled to find silence in my mind to listen and understand what the other person was saying to me so that I could gather the information in those split seconds and respond wisely. It was very frustrating and embarrassing which is why I hid away from the world.
The only time I ventured out with much difficulty because the symptoms were so bad, the hallucinations and delusions was to walk to church try and sit still during the preaching and take in what was said, and go to prayer group afterwards for a social. That was the only times I ever felt a bit of comfort and could force myself to speak a little. That gave me some relief and joy because it took away the loneliness,because I was heartbroken and devasted - I had no idea what happened to me as one day I was fine and the next day I became schizophrenic, like a nervous breakdown - it happens just like that and I was losing control of myself within days until I became totally psychotic.
I struggled to get any words out to the pdoc - I tried to write down my hallucinations and delusions which they ignored yet told my mom I was schizophrenic. There was unfortunately no communication between me and my doctors or me and my family to explain to me what was happening to me besides "Oh just take this medication" There was no communication when I explained the severe side-effects I was having from the old medication type.
I avoided any romantic advances made to me by other single guys who wanted to date me - I did not have the ability to have that type of relationship - I was way to paranoid. It was most certainly a struggle and as a result I had my heart broken once by trying to be in a relationship. With my husband his companionship was so warm and loving that I was able to hide my symptoms - ie they became manageable until after I had baby then the psychotic state hit me again.
Now I'm still relatively quiet but I do make an effort to have a conversation even if I don't have much to say. So it does mean making an effort.
Thank you PeeWee, That was an extremely honest and helpful post. You have described exactly what many of my patients have experienced as they struggled to deal with Schizophrenia. Your point is extremely well taken about how physicians don't spend enough time explaining to their patients and families what is Schizophrenia, and what are the treatment alternatives. Also it borders on medical malpractice when physicians don't enquire about the side-effects of their medications. We have many different antipsychotic medications to chose from; hence a physician can usually switch to another antipsychotic medication to minimize side-effects. It was wonderful that you met your husband and married. Unfortunately, approximately one-third of women with Schizophrenia experience a relapse shortly before or after childbirth. Thus a post-partum relapse is often seen. Your willingness to share your experiences will definitely help others with Schizophrenia to realize they are not alone; that others have had the same problems. Phil Long M.D.
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| computer_chip1
Amazing Member (1000+ posts)
1593 Posts
Gratitude: 357
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Posted - 10/13/2007 : 05:38:21
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I used to have one or none close friendships. I have had a supportive family thoughout. Recently I have developed 2 or 3 loyal and good friends. I have been fortunate to have girl-friends, on and off, over the years.
I have felt very quiet and uncomfortable at parties and weddings for one side of my family tree. On the other side, I can talk comfortably. Also, I am very quiet, still, at work, for 2 1/2 years.
I do well talking one-on-one with my mother or my social worker. I can think and write better than I can talk.
I do not think the problem is shyness but rather something technical about how to talk--maybe not staying on track or not speaking clearly and using the right words. Maybe there is a disease process in the verbal centers of the brain.
51 year-old man from Washington, D.C., working. |
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| Kiss_moi
Starting Member
1 Posts
Gratitude: 3
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Posted - 03/26/2008 : 22:20:42
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| I find it very hard to socialize with people, and when I do I tend to scare them off. I had a girlfriend who was my complete support but she couldn't handle my illness. I was diagnosed with schizophrenia during our relationship, and when I got really sick she helped me through it, but then she just couldn't handle it anymore. Not that I blame her, but I needed that support. I now live with my parents, but I don't have many friends, and it gets very lonely. I just don't know how to make friends without scaring them off. I just get scared that they are going to leave me, and I get clingy, and I can understand how they get scared. I just don't know what to do because I need the support, but I can understand how people are scared. I'm just so lost and lonely, and I don't know where to turn. |
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| Fruitcup (inactive)
Incredible Member (2000+ posts)
2298 Posts
Gratitude: 563
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Posted - 03/27/2008 : 01:52:16
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Yes, I have problems with loneliness..
I suppose for years I shut people out because I felt I could'nt trust anyone,family, neighbours...I was just angry and suspicious of everyone.
Medication has changed my life.
I am no longer that angry person and in the last 12 months have tried to build a social network.I attend a weekly morning tea, Church, group aquarobics and tai chiand I have a close supportive relationship with my immediate family...
Things are now moving slowly in the right direction to combat my loneliness.
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| Jonathan90125
Incredible Member (2000+ posts)
4098 Posts
Gratitude: 276
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Posted - 04/14/2008 : 14:25:06
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I have problems with lonliness. I have and and I have had friends, I've lost touch with them. I used to combat lonliness by going to church. The problem is I'm not really a believer so in the long term I was starting to get a bit of Sarcasm from people. I thought of joininbg the humanist society but I'm not entirely that either. It's like me being the bat in Aesops's fable that was neither bird nor neast and ended up being left all alone.
Ideally I'd like to go a Unitarian church in central Glasgow, but that means getting up early on Sunday morning for the bus into the city. I'd also have to cancel doing housework with my Richmond fellowship worker on sunday mornings.
I still go to chess club but it has stopped for the summer. The chess clubs has been very helpful in getting to meet other men but its only
not on at the moment, and no women attend. |
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| area24
Super Member (250+ posts)
253 Posts
Gratitude: 45
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Posted - 04/26/2008 : 12:25:41
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Loneliness is a big problem. I am too anxious to be with people.
Ativan worked like a charm but I knew it was just covering up
my symptoms and made me inoperable in other ways. I am not going
to pay a therapist just to have someone to talk to. Forget it.
I see a health practitioner once a month and a massage
therapist now and then. I enjoy talking to her but her English
is limited and she plays up to me to keep my business.
When I see a certain relative she and i wind up drinking so
I don't see her anymore. Going outside is always an adventure.
Never know how anxious I'll be. Just going into an elevator
with another person or persons is a big deal.
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| sadcow50
Super Member (250+ posts)
255 Posts
Gratitude: 102
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Posted - 04/28/2008 : 08:29:41
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dear everybody who read this
Loneliness it´s a horrible word
I´m not schizofrenic or depressed althouhg others think different
but I have always feel loneley since I was young and now still feel a
breathtaking loneleyness no friends (dont want to they cheet on me) no partner (they always leave me)
2 kids adults lots off pets at bithdays lots of visiters it does´nt matter the feeling of loneleyness always is around
Sadcow
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| Serine
Starting Member
20 Posts
Gratitude: 7
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Posted - 05/07/2008 : 21:13:56
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I feel incredibly lonely even though I have two beautiful daughters which I do alot bonding things with. Well we hang out most of the time in fact which is probibly unhealthy for the three of us. But besides that I seem to have noone. There is noone in my life who I can talk to about my problems, noone who could possibly understand. In fact my parents often say that what I experience is a normal part of everyday living, emotional responses, and such.
If they only knew... they know nothing. Nobody knows me. I dont know me. I look in the mirror and see a person who suprises the life out of me as it is not me. My reflection I am not repulsed by, but am suprised... then dissapointed. I dont know what I expect just someone else.
I feel lonely because I have hidden my true self since I was 5. I have a hard time associating with people because they are so materialistic and brainwashed, whereas I am simply different. And lonely, looking for my soulmate. |
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| Serine
Starting Member
20 Posts
Gratitude: 7
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Posted - 05/09/2008 : 08:59:31
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I have been posting on this forum for three days hoping to get a response. I have been reaching out to no avail. Does noone
am I comming off as an arrogant abrasive personality that everyone is afraid to respond to? This is the first time I have opened up to others in 28 years of having a hidden illness, and I am still left talking to myself.
Sorry to sound offensive, but the lonliness is growing rapidly with every lost expectation. I just dont know what to do anymore it seems as though all my avenues have been exhausted. I guess I will always have to hide and speak to the thin air about why me. I guess I will reside in the void of darkness and only dream of the light. I guess I am destined to figure life out on my own. Even amongst people of like mind one can fall into seclusion and feel condemmed.
Now everyone really will hate me. Sorry if I offended anyone but this silence is really offensive in itself and I cant help but feel I am being pushed out. It is like something I cannot explain, like telepathy, like "you" as a group are conspiring to shut the door in my face so that I will leave.
I have taught my daughters how to respond to people they dont want to converse with and that is by one word answers. Noone wants to talk to someone using one word answers.
Noone wants to talk to me it seems.
Sorry, just venting frustration
Just venting my lonliness. I should not expect. |
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| joey semtex
Starting Member
1 Posts |
Posted - 06/04/2011 : 19:19:51
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quote:
Originally posted by Serine
I have been posting on this forum for three days hoping to get a response. I have been reaching out to no avail. Does noone
am I comming off as an arrogant abrasive personality that everyone is afraid to respond to? This is the first time I have opened up to others in 28 years of having a hidden illness, and I am still left talking to myself.
Sorry to sound offensive, but the lonliness is growing rapidly with every lost expectation. I just dont know what to do anymore it seems as though all my avenues have been exhausted. I guess I will always have to hide and speak to the thin air about why me. I guess I will reside in the void of darkness and only dream of the light. I guess I am destined to figure life out on my own. Even amongst people of like mind one can fall into seclusion and feel condemmed.
Now everyone really will hate me. Sorry if I offended anyone but this silence is really offensive in itself and I cant help but feel I am being pushed out. It is like something I cannot explain, like telepathy, like "you" as a group are conspiring to shut the door in my face so that I will leave.
I have taught my daughters how to respond to people they dont want to converse with and that is by one word answers. Noone wants to talk to someone using one word answers.
Noone wants to talk to me it seems.
Sorry, just venting frustration
Just venting my lonliness. I should not expect.
hey! I totally know how you feel. Except, sometimes I am very sure of myself and I feel very confident and in control. I am able to talk to people. Other times, I feel like I am stuck behind a wall and I can't find me. I don't know who I am or who anyone else is. I can just look outside and say "what a nice day it is". I get so lost in nothingness that I don't know which way is up anymore.
You wrote a long response, you will get a response. I feel like everyone will hate me all the time. Not just because of saying something. I am always worried people are going to leave that even when someone isn't leaving, if this is someone I can maybe trust, I will repeat over and over like a broken record "please don't go, please don't go". They look at me like they have no clue what I am talking about. But I know they will hate me and leave. I know it.
Honestly, no one else can figure out your life other than yourself. We all have things within ourselves that we need to discover. And to tell you the truth, my view of reality is very off... I know.... but, everyone has to figure out how to balance their life for themselves. Once you have some kind of balance, it is easier to let go and feel comfortable around people and trust them. |
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| fleurette
Incredible Member (2000+ posts)
3282 Posts
Gratitude: 292
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Posted - 09/10/2011 : 15:44:55
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Sometimes I feel lonely. But at othertimes, I enjoy having some quiet moments to myself.
At social gatherings I am hard on myself and would like to see myself being more outgoing. The times that I feel shut out and excluded are when they talk about topics which I have little knowledge about. (perhaps relating to their employment etc.)
I do not feel that my friends are shutting me out, just that we have different topics of interest to talk about.
The loneiness subsides when I have the courage to call someone up to say "Hi" and chat, or when my friends invite me out. I usually will say yes to outings with my friends but then when I get there I will need to get home and cannot stay out for as long a duration as they can.
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| fleurette
Incredible Member (2000+ posts)
3282 Posts
Gratitude: 292
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Posted - 03/23/2013 : 19:18:40
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What helps my loneliness is when my friends take the time to email me or when I get better I initiate things too, better. When I am not well, it helps to have friends call and ask how I'm doing and when they invite me out I will usually say yes.
Loneliness is kept at bay mostly because I do not live alone. I could not imagine life alone, it would be filled with no companionship and I would be much more prone to loneliness. |
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Do You Have Problems With Loneliness?
