It took great courage to go to work everyday despite suffering from untreated Schizophrenia.
You mentioned that you started on antipsychotic medication after being ill for six years. This is typical for most individuals with Schizophrenia. Usually an individual with Schizophrenia suffers from psychotic symptoms for years before they seek medical help.
You wrote beautifully about, in those early years, how it became more difficult to trust others, and how it seemed that others were constantly berating you. Tragically, this is a very common occurrence for those developing Schizophrenia.
Nevertheless, despite the increasing Schizophrenia, you bravely went on. Your religious faith obviously was a source of hope, strength, comfort, and peace. Likewise, you mentioned previously that you had the loving support of your husband.
Your experience with Schizophrenia is almost identical to literally hundreds of my own patients; yet we are thousands of miles away from you. This strongly suggests that Schizophrenia presents the same way, regardless of where in the world an individual lives.
PeeWee, your posts are so honest, and so well-written; I can ensure you that others will benefit from reading how you found the courage to deal with Schizophrenia. Phil Long M.D.