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 Do You Have Problems With Bearing Grudges?
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Administrator
Administrator

14915 Posts
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Posted - 09/23/2007 :  13:22:11  Show Profile  Visit Administrator's Homepage  Reply with Quote  Reply to Topic
Dear Members,

Research has shown that bearing grudges is often a problem in both schizophrenia and depression.

Bearing Grudges is defined as:

    Doesn’t forgive others’ mistakes; seeks revenge; seldom apologizes.
Could you please tell our community if bearing grudges was part of your schizophrenia, and what made this better or worse.

Your comments will greatly help others facing these same problems.

Phil Long M.D.
Administrator

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firebird
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Posted - 09/23/2007 :  16:11:28  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Reply to Topic
Forgiveness is often a problem for many people so you cannot just say its a problem just for people with schizophrenia. What are you going to say?. Half the worlds population fighting in wars are schizophrenic!, that's ridiculous If you was an Iraqi kid who had their family blown up by a US bomb, would you easily forgive?. Some people in my early life I cannot forgive, but people today are not a problem.
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peewee
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Posted - 09/27/2007 :  02:23:42  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Reply to Topic
The persecutive voices first starting complementing me and then insulting me and I felt very insecure but I tried to hide the embarrassement from every one of having my whole life - my deepest thoughts expost to strangers. I felt so ashamed as a woman as my delusions and hallucinations were disgusting but the more I fought with the voices the more they wouldn't leave me alone - for six years I fought with them and I started despising many people because I thought these voices belonged to this person and that person which left me being a very unfriendly person who at times would have a blank stare for hours and tears would trickle down my face and a client would report me to management and say they should fire me because I would glare at a person from a distance only to find that that person can't read my mind and so I would mark that person off my list as knowing anything about my life and my thoughts which would become perverse for some unknown reason - the total opposite of what my mind used to be like. The voices were with me every minute of the day commenting about me, harrassing me. I still can't forgive the people I first became paranoid about as I still believe they played a role in my getting ill. I don't know how but that is what I believe.

My father hurt me mentally and emotionally with his verbal abuse during my illness and that made my symptoms worsen as my delusions and hallucinations and having constant voices in my head persecuting me made me get terrible panic attacks when he used to shout at me and call me names and tell me to get out of his house as he doesn't want me there. I still get nightmares of his verbal abuse. I had to deal with my father's negative nature ever since I was born and I still have flashbacks of him getting abusive with my mom when I was two years old. He only stopped hitting her when my older brother stood up to him but then he walked away from the parental fights after he was verbally abused at age 16 by my father and spent his days after school and on weekends with his friends and girlfriends as he had a motor bike as transport to go out but I never so I was left alone to listen to and be forced to take sides in my parents marriage problems and my father's verbal abuse, they made up before my father passed away but I never. Clearly with me still getting nightmares of his verbal abuse I have unforgiveness in my heart because I don't miss him one bit - I am glad he passed away and is out of my life and that my good husband never had to meet him as he would have embarrassed me terribly and messed up my chances of having happiness with my husband because I know my husband would not have approved of my father and I never wanted to be judged by my family's standards but by my own.



Hi Peewee,

85% of individuals with Schizophrenia, at some point, hear voices that no one else can hear. These imaginary voices sound 100% real. Usually these voices are persecutory, but sometimes they are pleasant (telling the person of his/her supernatural powers etc.).

Often an individual with Schizophrenia becomes convinced that others can read his/her mind by telepathy. Or they believe that their thoughts are broadcast out loud, so that others can hear their most secret thoughts.

Neurologically, these auditory hallucinations ("hearing voices") have been proven to be caused by abnormal firing of the neural circuits that process hearing. Thus there is a physical cause for these hallucinations.

The parallel to this is epilepsy.

In grand mal epilepsy, the abnormal firing of neural circuits is in the frontal lobes of the brain - the part of the brain that controls muscle movement.

In hallucinations, the abnormal firing of neural circuits is in the temporal lobes of the brain - the part of the brain that controls hearing and voice recognition.

The neurological cause of epilepsy, however, requires a different treatment than the treatment for hallucinations.

Epilepsy is usually treated by using anticonvulsant medication (which is ineffective for Schizophrenia). Hallucinations are treated using antipsychotic medication (which is ineffective for epilepsy).

Antipsychotic medication usually stops hallucinations. Thus it is a tragedy that years go by before a psychotic individual seeks help and is started on antipsychotic medication.

Phil Long M.D.
Administrator

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Jonathan90125
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Posted - 12/22/2007 :  12:56:12  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Reply to Topic
I quite often feel I'm bearing a hrudge with my psydoc of 1995 who tried to section me when I wasn't that unwell.
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ttaurean30
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Posted - 12/22/2007 :  14:43:35  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Reply to Topic
I am a very forgiving person...I think..
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jo73
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Posted - 05/29/2008 :  12:34:49  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Reply to Topic
i have always found it hard to forgive people for things that they have said or done am am still the same nowif not worse as now adays i try to think of ways to get the people back and visualize me doing and saying things to them i think the only way i can descibe it is like a role play going on in my head and it drives me nuts joxxx
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Brain
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Posted - 08/08/2008 :  18:12:36  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Reply to Topic
Hello everyone, new here.

My name is Jared. Im a 20 year old man trying to cope with schizophrenia.

Grudges seem to be my biggest concern for myself. I find myself, many times a day, day dreaming about killing the people that have wronged me in the past. I mean, the things I think about, without going into details, are thought of killing them in the worst ways possible.

Now, I know these kind of thought arn't what out society considers "normal", but im having one hell of a time with violence lately. Honestly, what scares me is the fact that if I ever did decide to go through with it, I dont think it would bother me one bit.

It feels as if my heart has almost completely gone cold.
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richard_kingston
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Posted - 01/21/2009 :  07:44:28  Show Profile  Visit richard_kingston's Homepage  Reply with Quote  Reply to Topic
I genuinely hate my sister for having achieved so much, for taking the lead in everything, for being bascally, the 'good' child who is developing into a fully functional adult. She has prospects, she has a career, she has friends, she has a good reputation.
I absolutely hate her and everything she stands for. She burned me badly when I was a child, and she's always stolen all the limelight. Now I'm the one who's sick and twisted and bitter, and she gets to live an extra-ordinary and wonderful life.
I hate my father because he praises her so much, because he brought her up and cared about her and helped her with her ambitions and her studys. Because he didn't accept that it was her fault - i.e. that she burned me, and that I should be more deserving of his lvoe and attention that she.
But I'm also incredibly angry at my father for being such narrow minded c**t. He doesn't look deeply into things, he doesn't understand basic fundamental human rights, he cannot conceive of the possibility of my having something important and valuable to add to the general conversation, he is totally numbed and trimmed by society, and he's totally trapped in his own stupidity and blindness.

He doesn't understand that by giving me his full attention and devoting time to me that he would be granted a new and indefinite existence. Instead, he is happy to pigeon-hole me as a 'failed experiment' or a pet project which he's only half interested in.

I'm 30 now, but I've moved back home as I simply can't live with myself. I can't work, I can't study, I can't motivate myself, I'm sinking deeper into depression and although I've trained and manipulated and played with my schizophrenia for many years in the hopes that it would dissipate, its about to finally conquer my psyche and as far as I can tell, the demons will out!

I also hate my mother - cheating two time self-interested cow. She lives on a farm far a way from me now, and she's an intellectual! She studies children's speech under the delusion that she's some kind of doctor. In fact, she's just another liberal fool with too much time on her hands. Yes the university pays her, no, she doesn't have a clue in hell as to what she's doing - she's just making it up as she goes along, just like my father.

I get so bored of these adults who go around pretending to work and shifting the s**t around all day and making nice and smiling, they really are a bunch of self-interested egos with no imagination and no ideas.

Hence, I suppose their desire to raise kids.
Frankly, I'm looking forward to the day when I've got no money, no job, no house and no social networks. I hate modern life - every one is crazy, every one is greedy and the system is a monstrous invention which is so overly automated that its completely out of control.

Good riddance to Humanity I say, let the schizophrenia roll on!

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Jayster
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Posted - 11/10/2009 :  03:41:43  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Reply to Topic
I have a friend on schizophrenia.com who has such a grudge with that site. The extent to which he is stuck on his grudge reminds me of a drug addict's stuckness on addiction.

Jayster
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uplift
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Posted - 03/23/2011 :  06:43:28  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Reply to Topic
quote:
Originally posted by Brain

Hello everyone, new here.

My name is Jared. Im a 20 year old man trying to cope with schizophrenia.

Grudges seem to be my biggest concern for myself. I find myself, many times a day, day dreaming about killing the people that have wronged me in the past. I mean, the things I think about, without going into details, are thought of killing them in the worst ways possible.

Now, I know these kind of thought arn't what out society considers "normal", but im having one hell of a time with violence lately. Honestly, what scares me is the fact that if I ever did decide to go through with it, I dont think it would bother me one bit.

It feels as if my heart has almost completely gone cold.

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nancyannee
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Posted - 03/23/2011 :  07:43:19  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Reply to Topic
Only against myself. Never do I hold anyone else to blame for their feelings or actions.

Everyone is entitled to how they react or not. They are responsible for suffering the consequences for their own actions as am I.

As for reading thoughts and such.

I know that there are energies in play that do exist, and for me it is more about the actual energy and the interpretation of how it is received. It is frustrating to watch over and over how easily these energies are misaligned.

n

Living in the moment
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warbird
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Posted - 02/04/2021 :  01:18:53  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Reply to Topic
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warbird
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Posted - 03/01/2021 :  02:10:20  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Reply to Topic
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warbird
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Posted - 04/03/2021 :  06:34:48  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Reply to Topic
http://cottagenet.ru/plan/9

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warbird
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Posted - 04/03/2021 :  06:37:09  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Reply to Topic
http://eyesvisions.com/better-eyesight-magazine-better-eyesight-1920-02

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warbird
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Posted - 04/03/2021 :  06:39:30  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Reply to Topic
http://filmzones.ru/t/126270

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