There is much amiss, like how we brought the German Nazi doctors and scientists over to our country and paid them and let them experiment on humans and start all kinds of mind control, a part of it that lodged in my life like a spear, the physical pain I've endured time and time again. Its a blessing then that I became mentally ill, and that I keep bending, because if I were to break entirely, I'd be on some never-ending journey to escape my own head. There's a lot that's not right with this world, and I don't want to be the poster child.
Listen, what you need to do is sit down in a quiet room by yourself and just think of your name. No fake name or alieses just your actual name. Keep repeating it until you find your own idenity. And just face your demons. Whatever it is thats making you hurt just admit it to yourself and put it behind you. Don't run from the pain.