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Chris
Amazing Member (1000+ posts)
1773 Posts
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 Posted - 05/12/2009 : 19:19:05
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Here are second draft versions of Cantos 4 and 5, These are my newest works I'm on Canto 25 in rough and will begin 6 in second draft form tomorrow. Any feedback is welcomed.
Canto 4
I woke on far shore
Virgil looks down and turns pale
The un-baptised woods
The cries of infants
Sinless souls, a crowd packed tight
None were born again
Once the Lord came down
To rescue Hebrew prophets
Before that, none left
Virgil says he lives
Here in this hopeless valley
Before us, a fire
Great poets: Homer
Horace, Ovid and Lucan
And they welcome me.
And now we are six
We talk of things kept secret
A distant castle
Seven walls, a stream
We enter, crossing the stream
We walked on water.
Inside the castle
Is a lush meadow valley
Past seven stone gates
Hollow and solemn
The heroes of history
Mourn fate together
Now six becomes two
As we leave my heart aches to
Free them all from Hell.
*-*-*-*-*-*
Canto 5
We descend steps from
The land of hopeless heroes
And enter worse Hell
At the circle’s edge
Minos, the judge of fresh souls
Throws them in the pit
The dark stormy void
Swallows them, hungry, ancient
To land where they should
The demon sees us
“Be careful who you trust here�
It knows I’m not dead
The warning from Hell
Is countered by my guide who
Spits back at Minos
“This trip is God’s will
And it’s no concern of yours�
As we walk past him
A dark razor wind
Bodies, battered paper cranes
The lustful curse God
Don Juan, Warren Jeffs,
Tristan and Isold, all thrown
Through storm and rubble
Two souls entwined drift
Gracefully on the updraft
Virgil calls them near
Francesca and Paul
Float closer and tell their tale
Tragic and painful
A crime of passion
Sent us here, lust for each other
A one time mistake
My husband’s brother…
He can never leave my side
The man’s silent tears
When we were found out
My husband murdered us both
He suffers deeper.
Overcome by grief
And feeling giddy, I faint
The human storm cries.
*-*-*-*-*-*
No false Gods!
No human masters!
Anarchy and Peace.  |
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