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 Olanzapine (Zyprexa)
 My zyprexa abuse story and how I'm 40 days off it
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Original_Name
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Posted - 09/07/2009 :  23:16:32  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Reply to Topic
Hi All,

Today is my day 40 off Lilly's zyprexa zydis wafers (olanzapine). This has been one of the worst detoxes I have ever suffered and I believe it is not over yet.

41 days ago I was in an abuse pattern with this zyprexa medicine. My recommended dose from the last psychiatrist I stopped seeing was a moderate 15mg (three 5mg tablets). 18 months ago I lied to my G.P. Doctor (Regular Doctor) and told her I was instructed by my psychiatrist to have a dose of 20mg of zydis wafers in the morning followed by another nightly does of 20mg at night. This effectively put my dose up from 15mg tablets to 40mg wafers per day - over night. My G.P. Doctor had no problem believing this lie and had the prescription written without question. So this was the beginning of the addiction as far as I'm concerned even though there had been truthfully a little abuse with the tablets while most of the time taking my regular 15mg tablet dose at night as recommended. I had decided I needed the wafers because of I.B.S. (irritable bowel syndrome) a condition most probably caused by a bad unidentified stomach bug which I think stopped the tablets from digesting properly. My reason for the increase in dose was for the mornings was to have a different thought pattern. Use it for what its meant to help with the consistent fantasies and delusions from the past I think about way to much. It doesn't help me there much at all in terms of getting me through the day any better. I virtually had the same thought patterns anyway. So that was a waste of time I believe that morning dose. The night time dose was for sleep. Sleep when taking my instructed 15mg tablet dose was 95% of the time never a problem. I got a nice 10 hours uninterrupted sleep most nights which is recommended for me because of my illness schizophrenia. A drug induced sleep is not perfect sleep but I felt it some what beneficial because some off my problems can be partially blamed on a lack of sleep. The problem of zyprexa abuse escalated even further one day when I ran out of marijuana (illegal drug). I had run out of money and could not obtain any marijuana so I decided that I could try going back to sleep by taking eight 10mg wafers. I did this almost as soon as I woke up. It was a way of dealing with no marijuana as-well as fighting depression. It was a big mistake. It didn't work. My brain and body had all the sleep it needed already and all I got from it was slight drowsy.
Knowing the wafers work quite quickly the way the enter the body under the tongue, get to the blood and travel to the brain and other body parts I decided that it hadn't worked after 30 minutes. No sleep yet. Another big mistake follows, I decide to take another four 10mg wafers hoping for that sleep. Another 30minutes later still no sleep. At this stage of the day one hour from having woken up I'm now at 12 zyprexa wafers in my system. No marijuana came that day and neither did any sleep and I still had to deal with depression and detox with no real assistance from the medicine at all. 6:00pm that night I took another four 10mg wafers knowing now the inevitable sleep I had wanted all day would have to arrive. It did at approximately 7:30pm and I slept all the way through for a 12 hour sleep waking up the next morning not all the best for having put myself through this drug using abuse the day before. One of my few assets is my I.Q. (Intelligence Quota). I know I can be clever. But like an addict I didn't learn my mistake yet. I decided to repeat the mistake this next day only to make it worse because at the end of the night I had taken twenty-four 10mg zyprexa zydis wafers which is 240mg for this day. Again the same result which was no sleep until 7:30pm that night and still no marijuana put into my system for 2 days now. This pattern of abuse lasted 5 days where I would take a maximum daily dose of 240mg and a minimum of 160mg of zyprexa. Late on night 5 of no marijuana eventually I get some. My good friend who enables my marijuana using really notices my zombie like state and enquires as to why with some good educated guesses as to what's happened with me as well. The next morning I'm glad to wake up knowing I can smoke marijuana all day long if I want to because I now have enough of it. So this is where I make a sensible decision. I decided to stop the zyprexa abuse while taking marijuana except for my 6:00pm nightly dose of four 10mg wafers. This worked for me but of course money and marijuana
run out again and I felt I was in the same usual rut and went back to the same substitution zyprexa abuse pattern I had for that 5 day period before. This lasted for perhaps 18 months either the zyprexa or marijuana abuse depending on the marijuana availability. Some days to make things even worse I would take twelve paracetamol 500mg/15mg codeine tablets just hoping for some sleep through out the day. During that 18 month period I truthfully probably got about five 2 hour afternoon naps for all the abuse I had given myself.

40 days ago I went back to my G.P. Doctor for a script of zyprexa. She looked on her computer and saw that I'm to early for the script. In my country the Doctors have to ring the federal government for permission to write the script of zyprexa. So my doctor decided to please me and rang anyway knowing the result would be a refusal
from the government and yes it was refused the script cannot be written. Its pointless going to any other doctor in my country because it will be the same problem ringing the government for permission. I asked for some normison (temazepam) tablets and got twenty five 10mg of those prescribed for sleep.

So I got home and decided to give things some real thought. I thought about the way I been abusing drugs for a long time since the age of 15 and I'm now aged 39. I decided once and for all that I do not need anti-psychotic medication in my life any more. The improvements I've made in my life over the last 10 years is a result of maturing a little (growing up) and not the work of zyprexa which I
had been taking for those 10 years. I thought about how I've been telling my friends that I plan to quit all mind altering drugs of addiction before I turn 40 years of age which is still another 10 months off. I also considered quitting the marijuana right then and there as well but decided that mountain was to hard to climb. So throughout the 40 day detox I've had marijuana for perhaps 60%
of those days.

Like I said at the start it's one of the worst detoxes I've every suffered and I still feel that it's not over yet. Its both a psychological and physical detox at the same time. Psychologically for the first 28 days I suffered the worst fantasy/delusional thoughts ever. During that first 28 days I could not concentrate on hardly anything else. Participating in conversation when my friends who really need me was very difficult. Watching the T.V. was a waste of time because I just simply could not pay attention to it. One way to cope has been the computer with its online games but even then trying to get into those is also really hard because of the brain power required to play them good and I only use the computer while stoned on marijuana while going through this detox. Even what I have written here so far has been difficult because of mind distractions going on. I've spent 3 hours on this text so far! Physically It's mostly head related as well. I have a strange sore face sensation that is very difficult to describe. My beard that needs a complete shave again is adding to this problem on by face with further irritation. When biting down on food I have very sore teeth. I'm swapping between hot and cold all the time and its unrelated to the weather. I've had toilet problems as well with diarrhea all of the last 40 days. Most of the time I have no appetite and need to force myself to eat. No complaints about leg cramps with this detox which is good. As for sleep I tend to fall asleep at about 8:30pm and I'll tend to sleep for 4 hours until about 12:30am. Then at 4:30am I sleep for another 2 hours until about 6:30am. This 6 hours interrupted sleep isn't ideal but it's better than what I thought the worst of it could be such as no sleep at all.

So I'm on day 40 off the zyprexa and I'm on the improve but its not over yet. Day 8 was perhaps the worst day and I guess with thoughts like it could not possibly get any worse than this is what got me through it all up to now. I'm probably at the stage again where I would get permission from the government for more zyprexa should I want it but I really don't. I can cope without it and I know how to pay close attention to my mental health symptoms should I regress to the worse. Should this
mental health regression occur then I'll address it appropriately with a psychiatrist but for now I'm sure I'm on the improve overall.

Just for the record, this zyprexa abuse was never about chasing a stone or a high. I've never been stoned or high on zyprexa. It's not really sort after for that sort of an effect. I wouldn't call it a mind altering drug of addiction.

Also for the record I'm not one of the unlucky ones who have gained enormous amounts of weight while taking zyprexa. I'm still under weight and have always been ever since a young child.

Again for the record. Opiate detoxes such as heroin, methadone and subutex are all way worse than this physically which is why I rate them the worst. However this is the worst head space psychological detox by a long way which is why I rate this as a nasty one all the same.

I'll try to watch this forum I have posted to see if anyone would like to make a comment about my zyprexa zydis wafer abuse story. Maybe you have one of your own.

Please learn from this and don't make my mistake by abusing this anti-psychotic zyprexa medication because it's an all negative experience with no positives as far as I can tell.

If you have questions that I feel I can give an honest answer to then I'll gladly answer them!!!
That's about it for now and I know it was rather long but I really felt like I needed to tell my story.

Original Name
(Tuesday the 8th of September 2009)
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Chris
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Posted - 09/09/2009 :  01:42:57  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Reply to Topic
I don't mean to be a downer but what the hell were you thinking in the first place??? I mean you shouldn't f*ck with these drugs and mixing them with recreational ones like pot don't do you any favours (of course I'm certain you know that now). If you don't mind my asking what was your original DX and why were you taking Olanzapine? if you have been on anti-psychotics for a decade chances are pretty good that folks thought you needed them to keep you mentally ballanced. if your drug wasn't working out for you you should have tried to get a switch going with your shrink or GP taking more of it was just plain stupid. I wish I could empathise more but you brought that on yourself bro. I don't have much sympathy because you chose to abuse an antipsychotic and for what? to help you sleep? there's lots of over the counter stuff that could have helped you out without making you into a toaster oven and if you couldn't take those for whatever reason you should have consulted with your doctor and found a workable alternative.

then you decided to quit olanzapine instead of pot??!? Ok granted Olanzapine is a really crap drug but so is grass, marijuana is chiefly responsible for my own psychosis I hope you did this "detox" with some kind of medical supervision and I hope to God that you don't have some kind of psychotic or manic relapse which puts you in the hospital because of your foolishness.

Perhaps there are more sympathetic people on here who will reply to you soon but I can't be one of them.

I survived ten years of schizophrenia and just came off an equally rotten antipsychotic but it was because I was allergic and could have died if I kept taking it, you chose, of your own free will, to take a stupid high dose of a powerful psychotropic drug repeatedly and lied to your doctor to get more if you prize your IQ I think you should have it re-tested because what you did was senseless and stupid.

Anarchy and Peace
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hercules21
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Posted - 09/09/2009 :  02:09:29  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Reply to Topic
I find this story suspicious. The maximum dose of Olanzapine if 20mgs. I could see someone getting away with having 40mgs but 240mgs could cause a meltdown or brain impairment. I guess you are saying you weren't digesting them properly. But 240mgs is a lot.

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Original_Name
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Posted - 09/09/2009 :  18:06:18  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Reply to Topic
Hi again,

Thanks for the replies.

I certainly do not want 'empathy' or 'sympathy'. That was not the point of the post. What my message is meant to say is quite simple - "Do not make this same mistake that I made.". If my message can help just one person then it was worth it.

I agree with you that what I did was 'senseless and stupid.'. I have been beating myself up enough for this as it is already and I really don't need it pointed out when I know that.

I have not heard of DX before. Are you asking me what I was diagnosed with? Schitzophrenia is the answer if so.

I'm sure every country has a different maximum amount of zyprexa that is allowed to be legally dosed by then doctors. In my country the 40mg per day dose was not a problem for both the doctor who wrote the script and the government who gives permission to the doctor for authority so the script can be written. The doctor rings the government while your in the doctor's room waiting with him or her.

You can have very intellegent addicts. It's not my intellegence letting me down here. My lack of wisdom/maturity would be a problem here. One phyciatrist said "You have the same maturity level as an 11 year old child.". That was 10 years ago and I hope Ive grown up just a little bit more during those times. My age is 39 now. Time to become an adult!!!

Off the topic:
Do you like oxymorons Chris? 'Anarchy and Peace' certainly sounds like one when I can't see how both can be achieved at the same time.

oxymoron - Two words that conflict with each other. Two words which do not agree with each other. sourced at http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=oxymoron .

Some times I too like to call myself 'The Living Dead'. Because I'm a zombie. 'living dead' is a great oxymoron.

So today is now day 41 off zyprexa. 'One step at a time' is what they teach you at N.A. meetings! The day will come when I give it all away and that includes the marijuana but for now I'm happy with 'One step at a time."







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Chris
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Posted - 09/09/2009 :  22:34:50  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Reply to Topic
I'm an anarco pacifist there is no hypocrisy in that look it up. as for your maturity level I'd agree with your shrink as for the fact that no permanent harm was done to you after your "experiment" I'm grateful. Nobody should go through what you did even if it was voluntarily self inflicted.

real anarchism is not possible without pacifism violence and armed struggle are tools of the ruling class if you're a member of the army or the ELF if you use those tactics you arr hurting the cause.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anarcho-pacifism

I'm glad you are safe.


Anarchy and Peace
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