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dibbs
Starting Member

5 Posts
Gratitude: 1

Posted - 12/26/2009 :  07:58:16  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Reply to Topic
hi iv never been on here before but i guess i was meant to find this site,my lifes such a mess,im just one big failure,and every day just gets worsse instead of better.it would take to long to explaine every thing but heres the basics.left on my own at 6 months old,in and out of foster care went back to real mum stepdad sexually abused me,back to care.nearly went prison at 18 for murder(my real mum killed her new boyfriend in front of me and tryed to say it was me) got into drugs and prostitusion,all my relationships have been about money and me getting beat up and abused,iv never really had any friends,i have a son whos dad doesnt bother. over the years a few people i know have been shot or stabbed the other day a good friend hung himself.every day is the same i get up sort my son out for school then thats it im on my own again,christmas is so depressing i spent it in front of the telly on my own again.iv had mental health problems for years and kidney problems since childhood had my kidney out about 10 months ago and to top it off the just told me iv got retinol pigmentosa....im looseing my sight iv already lost all my side ,upper and lower vision,i really hate being me and just think it would be better all round if i wernt here i hate it

devans
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Chris
Amazing Member (1000+ posts)

1773 Posts
Gratitude: 268

Posted - 12/26/2009 :  22:34:09  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Reply to Topic
Hey Dibbs,

I can't begin to lace myself in your shoes you've had a hard life and that's the truth but there must have been moments when you were truly happy right? like maybe when your kid was born? or some other moments in your life that were just good and you felt whole? They're fleeting I know and it's easy to feel like you want to die. I struggle with this too, especially a lot lately. I think the thing to remember is that it's those fleeting moments of happiness and joy which make life worth living. It can't be easy to hear this when you're living your life, it's a lot easier to say hang in there than it is to actually do it but maybe try making a list of things in your life that you would like to change and another list of ways you can work towards changing them, then go out and make those changes? It's hard and I can't tell you different I wish to God I could but I can't, just remember that the good times in your life aren't over, this is a rough patch and it will get better in the future, especially if you work at making it better.

This is all easy to say I'm sorry I can't make it easy to do and I'm sorry if my words of advice and consolation ring hollow to what you're going through but I read your post and was moved to respond.

I clicked notify admin in case our admin, Dr. Long has anything he wants to say to you. Welcome to mytherapy and keep coming back the real party is in the "topics common to all communities" section of the forum there are lots of really great people on here and they are very suportive, this is your community too, welcome.

Anarchy and Peace
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dibbs
Starting Member

5 Posts
Gratitude: 1

Posted - 12/27/2009 :  08:28:47  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Reply to Topic
hi thanks for your reply i understand what you are saying and i do have a few nice happy memorys but more bad ones and i just feel so useless and dont see the point,i dont think iv got the guts to try again to take my life i failed last time carnt even get that right.my heads just on another planet to me.

devans
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khaz
Incredible Member (2000+ posts)

8301 Posts
Gratitude: 471
Very caringVery honest

Posted - 12/27/2009 :  17:58:59  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Reply to Topic
I hereby erase all the crap that has happend.
From today your life has started stage 2.
It is only YOU who can control the next stage and we are all behind you.
A psych nurse told me it is like turning a gigantic ocean liner around a tiny bit at a time.Yes I did tell him I wanted to blow his fkn boat up but onceyou get over it he has a point.Small changes and give yourself time...he also said you don't sow and reap in the same season.

Khaz
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dibbs
Starting Member

5 Posts
Gratitude: 1

Posted - 12/28/2009 :  13:58:56  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Reply to Topic
errrm ok dont really understand but thankyou
have been a bit confused in myself again the last few days,haveing a lot of not so good thoughts.
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Chris
Amazing Member (1000+ posts)

1773 Posts
Gratitude: 268

Posted - 12/28/2009 :  19:29:02  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Reply to Topic
I guess what Khaz is saying is that this hard time in your life will pass eventually even if it seems to take forever now. It's like that saying: This too shall pass.

maybe it seems trite but it's true.

you say that you lack the courage to kill yourself perhaps that seems true but you could also think of it like you have the will to live, you are going to have to just suffer through this hard time and trust that better times are ahead because they are. Take my advice about changing things in your life, it really does help with the depression. I'm working at it right now and I'm telling you it helps. Also do you have people in your real life you can go to if you really do feel like you're in danger of trying to kill yourself?

Anarchy and Peace
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Chris
Amazing Member (1000+ posts)

1773 Posts
Gratitude: 268

Posted - 12/29/2009 :  23:54:37  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Reply to Topic
Hey Dibbs how are you doing?

Anarchy and Peace
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Chris
Amazing Member (1000+ posts)

1773 Posts
Gratitude: 268

Posted - 01/03/2010 :  23:45:04  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Reply to Topic
Hey Dibbs just checking in. it can be worrying when someone posts talking about suicide and then just sort of drops out of communication. I hope you are doing better.

Anarchy and Peace
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dibbs
Starting Member

5 Posts
Gratitude: 1

Posted - 01/13/2010 :  19:04:06  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Reply to Topic
hi sorry not been copeing with life in general very weel,have been to see the doctor a few times and dont feel as confused as i did....i just feel like there so much goin on in me head its like a washin machine on spin that wont stop...and i want it to stop.thankyou for reply to me i dont really chat to people much as 99.9% of my day im on my own.sorry it took so long to reply
quote:
Originally posted by Chris

Hey Dibbs how are you doing?

Anarchy and Peace



devans
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khaz
Incredible Member (2000+ posts)

8301 Posts
Gratitude: 471
Very caringVery honest

Posted - 01/14/2010 :  00:59:23  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Reply to Topic
Hey Dibbs

Many of us here are loners.
You can do better for your son than your biological parents did for you just by loving him.

Don't feel lonely.

You might notice I talk to myself alot on here but you know what...I don;t feel so lonely...and we are the lucky ones with kids to hug and love not feed to the lions.

Your doing well, give yourself credit.

About Christmas...try helping out at a charity lunch.

They,ll feed you, give the kid a gift and you will feel really great about yourself.

Keep talking to your doctor...and us.
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Chris
Amazing Member (1000+ posts)

1773 Posts
Gratitude: 268

Posted - 01/14/2010 :  20:49:52  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Reply to Topic
Hey Dibbs it's good to hear from you and even better to hear you are coping it can be hard but it's possible. You're always welcome around here this place is a very supportive community full of good people who've been through a lot themselves. We all try and help each other, that's what this place is here for so again, welcome!

Anarchy and Peace
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warbird
Super Incredible Member (10000+ posts)

43969 Posts

Posted - 02/04/2021 :  05:36:05  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Reply to Topic
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warbird
Super Incredible Member (10000+ posts)

43969 Posts

Posted - 03/01/2021 :  06:28:46  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Reply to Topic
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warbird
Super Incredible Member (10000+ posts)

43969 Posts

Posted - 05/05/2021 :  01:21:19  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Reply to Topic
http://cottagenet.ru

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warbird
Super Incredible Member (10000+ posts)

43969 Posts

Posted - 05/05/2021 :  01:23:40  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Reply to Topic
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warbird
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Posted - 05/05/2021 :  01:26:01  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Reply to Topic
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