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chelle25
Incredible Member (2000+ posts)
7614 Posts
Gratitude: 319
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 Posted - 08/21/2011 : 12:58:47
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I been thinking alot lately about my phychosis that occurred 4 years ago this coming October and what led up to it.
I had a bad case of Bronchitis that started because of my allergies. Had gone to several doctors who would not prescribe me antibiotics. I was so stressed out because I knew I needed them. My job was forcing me to come in to do consultations whilst I coughed and hacked through them and do not know how I sold so many of them in that condition. Boss would would tell me come in just for the consult then you can go back home.
This went on for a month until I finally went into the ER and the doctor said there you have bronchatis you need antibiotics! AMEN, I thought! Now I'm gonna get well. She had me follow up with an ENT doc who then changed my antibiotic to a stronger one and also prescribed me prednisone. It was the medrol pack and I was not taking them as prescribed because I felt weird from them. One day I would take none and the next day I thought oh maybe I'd better take them and I doubled the dose. By day four things started getting kind of crazy.
I had just gotten my hair cut into a whole new look went from long to short 3 days before. I sat under my low level laser it's a hair treatment that I have been doing for years. And after I got done with it I went to my computer. I can remember when my brain snapped I sat at the computer and I got this huge headache that rolled into my temples it hurt so bad and then I felt my brain snap!
I could feel my hair twirling all over my head as if my hair was spinning. I felt hair falling down my back as if my hair was falling out. I ran to the bathroom mirror and thought that I saw my hair was falling out. I was taking pictures even with my cell phone but when I'd look at the pictures The hair was in tact still there.
I just kept taking pictures even with my husband's cell phone because I figured something must be wrong with my camera on mine. I immediately thought my hair dresser did something to me.
I called my best friend and told her that my hair dresser did some Frankenstein stuff to my hair and that he was trying to harm me and I needed help before my whole body would disintegrate. She talked with me on the phone for hours.
I called my manager at work and told her the same thing and that I could not come to work because I was going bald. She said I don't know you'd better figure a way to come in because my boss would be mad. Later she had told me that she thought I was on drugs.
I was keeping my husband up all night long when he had to get up at 5:00am. Then I started looking at myself in the mirror and I could see that my backbone was shrinking and that I was turning into a midget and when I would open my mouth and rolled my tongue back it was as if I could swallow myself outside in. It was really scary at the time and I was very anxious because no one would believe me that my hair dresser did this to me.
I even went as far as calling off work yet another day and went to see a dermatologist about my hair and he said he could see nothing wrong but prescribed me some cortisone cream. I still to this day cannot believe that that doctor could not see that I was having Phychosis because I told him the story about my hair dresser trying to harm me.
I got brave enough to call the salon and they told me to come in to let them take a look at it. I went there and I remember shaking I was holding a mirror in my hand that the hair dresser handed to me and my hands were shaking badly. My hair dresser was trying to tell me that he did not do anything wrong that he only cut my hair.
I felt no one understood and no one believed me and that only I knew and that I was special because I could see these things that were going on with my body.
I called my manager at work again to call off work told her I needed a wig to come in because I was bald. And that also my body was smaller than before. She yelled at me pretty bad and told me I'd better come in or that I'd be fired. I asked her if I could wear a hat and she said no. At this point I was so stressed out I was calling wig shops that were all closed because it was too early in the morning and I can remember standing at my kitchen table and started to feel dizzy and it felt like I was having a heart attack. I called 911 on myself to tell them I thought I was having a heart attack.
The paramedics arrived came into the house with a stretcher and started monitoring me. They told me that they thought I was having an anxiety attack and suggested they take me to the hospital. So off to the hospital I went. My leg was cramping so bad it felt as if someone were taking my leg and trying to crack it in half it huirt so bad. The nurse told me it was caused by the anxiety attack and gave me some oxygen to breath into which helped.
I went rambling on about my delusions of my hair dresser who made me go bald and turned into a small being. They knew something was wrong but the more they argued with me about it the more anxious I had become. They gave me a cat scan and I think an ativan. The doctor came in to tell me that I was in a phychotic state and he wanted to admit me into the Psyche ward. I said no because I could not smoke there so I refused. I remember the doctor telling me that it was only going to get worse unless I go into the Psyche ward.
Hubby came there to check me out and I left to go home because I refused treatment due to I could not smoke there. I went on for a whole other day continuing calling people on the phone and rambling on with my delusion.
Then one morning I called my best friend to talk some more and she basically eased me into getting my mind to go back to the hospital. I went back and checked myself in.
I can remember the Pdocs at the hospital were not very nice and were stressing me out even more because they would not believe me. They put me on an antiphychotic and it was not working for some reason. Can't even remember which one it was. The Pdoc then put me on Geodon in which took away my hallucinations and delusions within about 24 hours although I still had my thoughts on my delusions a little bit but I was not seeing stuff in the mirror anymore. I stayed there for a week and then they sent me home with my med prescriptions.
I saw a therapist for about 6 months after and mostly I had stress from the pressure at work. At that time the therapist was suggesting for me to quit my job but I didn't and am still there to this day.
The Pdoc that I go to now say's that I am predisposed because it's in my genes and all it takes is an environmental factor or a medication that can make me swing that way. Mom has SZ and one of my son's is SZ Affective.
I never did get a diagnosis which kind of bothers me but then again I am not willing to get off the meds and go crazy again to find out either. Watched my mother for years go on and off her meds back and forth into the Psyche ward over and over again. My son too was not compliant and I can remember one of his Pdocs telling me that each time he goes off the medication the disease keeps getting worse.
Anyhow that's my story and I hope you all don't mind me posting on the boards without an official diagnosis.
They say that time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself.
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| FLMgirl
Incredible Member (2000+ posts)
3701 Posts
Gratitude: 361
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Posted - 08/22/2011 : 10:35:44
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Hi Chelle25,
WELCOME to MT. Hope you are finding your way around. There is a lot of info, and threads, and support to be found here. Join in anywhere. Look forwared to seeing you around the site. Glad you are here!
flmgirl
It is not about how you feel, it is what you believe...and, Still, it is what it is... |
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| hercules21
Incredible Member (2000+ posts)
5726 Posts
Gratitude: 435
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Posted - 08/24/2011 : 15:47:20
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I can relate to your brain snapping. When I as 27 my Dad yelled at me for an hour off and on. And my brain changed a bit I felt it. 6 months later I had a breakdown. I blame my Dad in a way.
I was psychosis NOS after my 1st breakdown - if you don't have another one they will leave you with that diagnosis.
Talk to you soon
Hercules
"Mrs Morel always said the after-life would hold nothing in store for her husband: he rose from the lower world into purgatory, when he came home from pit, and passed into heaven in the Palmerston Arms.". |
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| chelle25
Incredible Member (2000+ posts)
7614 Posts
Gratitude: 319
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Posted - 08/26/2011 : 15:59:40
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Yeah Hercs it was like I could actually feel my brain switch over from normal to not normal. Then all hell broke loose!
They say that time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself.
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| warbird
Super Incredible Member (10000+ posts)
100629 Posts |
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| warbird
Super Incredible Member (10000+ posts)
100629 Posts |
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| warbird
Super Incredible Member (10000+ posts)
100629 Posts |
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| warbird
Super Incredible Member (10000+ posts)
100629 Posts |
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| warbird
Super Incredible Member (10000+ posts)
100629 Posts |
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| warbird
Super Incredible Member (10000+ posts)
100629 Posts |
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| warbird
Super Incredible Member (10000+ posts)
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| warbird
Super Incredible Member (10000+ posts)
100629 Posts |
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| warbird
Super Incredible Member (10000+ posts)
100629 Posts |
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| warbird
Super Incredible Member (10000+ posts)
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| warbird
Super Incredible Member (10000+ posts)
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| warbird
Super Incredible Member (10000+ posts)
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Topic |
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My Phychosis
