guru
Super Member (250+ posts)
288 Posts Gratitude: 51
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Posted - 02/12/2013 : 02:07:21
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When the psychosis began I started on Haldol 50mg/day and then went to Anafranil for a while. Also lithium. None of these treaments worked. I hated these meds. And then I rebelled. The time I went unmedicated, with bouts of alcohol and drug abuse - were devastating. I fell on the dregs of suffering and lived a delusional hell of psychotic mystical/religious deliria. I contemplated suicide and did harm to many people, and even broke down my house, shattering picture frames, paintings, vases, lamps, and glasses - and ended up being restrained by fire-department brigade officers and later, locked up. Even after forced treatment, I abandoned medication. I persisted in error, in blindness. The pain was unbearable, and the drinking conitnued, and my mind was in total dissaray, and I saw and conversed with imaginary beings, and fought an equally imaginary spiritual war. My mind was the battlefield of angels and demons, and I was extenuated ofc - there was no limit to suffering and delusion, as I fell into deeper and deeper darkness. It was the dark night of the soul. Until I realized I needed to get on medication, and stop rebelling out. That was when I started on zyprexa, and my life chnaged for the better, and soon I was also on other meds, which made for a continual improvement. I learned the hard way, putting all my pride aside - that if it weren't for the meds I would be dead, or in a permanent hospital or in jail. Ofc it was not easy to adapt to the medication, but I learned it the hard way - that I had no alternative but to take zyprexa and risperdal or it meant my life - compromised in every respect, including its end........ |
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chelle25
Incredible Member (2000+ posts)
7614 Posts Gratitude: 319
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Posted - 03/26/2016 : 23:14:22
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Hi Guru,
I know this is an old post but just wanted to say thank you for sharing your story.
I have a son who 10 year ago was diagnosed and he refuses the meds. For 10 years on and off of antipsychotics as when he's off the police usually pick him up and take him to the hospital.
They medicate him, stabalized him then he goes home and doesn't take the meds. It has been a ten year merry go round.
Once the doctors had a meeting with all of us present including him. Telling him that everytime he goes off the medication the disease gets worse.
In fact without the medication the disease worsens.
I hope your post can help other folks like my son |
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guru
Super Member (250+ posts)
288 Posts Gratitude: 51
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Posted - 12/09/2016 : 09:33:30
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Chelle25,
It's hard sometimes to have courage to ask for help. It takes a strong - not weak - man to understand his limits.
When we are young, like your son, we think we are super-heroes.
We think we are invincible, we think that we are 'Titans.'
I may say that in retrospect through all I lived, it is worth of note how fragile I was.
I wanted to face it all with gut-instinct and courage that exceeded my boundaries.
Another thing - we feel like we can face it all, and deal with the prejudice that maybe we aren't that strong if we use attenuating meds. It cuts down on our pride, and has a down-sizing effect that we are not ready to face. It calls for humility - but generally - who amongst the young have so? It takes time to muster humility.
Advice for you......take your son on a 'visit' to a psychiatric ward, to see the suffering of others - so that maybe he can get a 'perspective.' Let him be advised that worse than run-ins with the Law, he could be impaired significantly later if he doesn't make a choice TODAY.
It must be hard for you and I give you a lot of credit. Convince your son to browse through Mytherapy to see what the reality, rather than what his youthful fantasies, are - of the deep frailty of the people who post candidly, and courageously - on this site.
Best regards,
Guru |
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