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I thought a lot about suicide 1990 to 1997

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Jonathan90125
Incredible Member (2000+ posts)

4098 Posts
Gratitude: 276
Very honest

Posted - 03/28/2013 : 05:33:34

I thougth a lot about suicide from 1990 to 1997 and I may have actually done it in 1990 and come back to life (resurected) several years later(I think)

I was prescribed an antidepressant in 1997 and gradually that eased my depression. After this I talked about suicide but sometimes what I really meant was 'I'll be glad when its all over' which I suppose most people get sometimes.

I am feeling down. I hope I am not dead.

Paper is more patient than people:- Anne Frank

jodartha
Incredible Member (2000+ posts)

4755 Posts
Gratitude: 942
Very caring Very wise Very honest I agree

Posted - 03/30/2013 : 04:57:51

Hi Jonathan

I am sorry you are so down today. You aren't alone I don't think. I have thought about it a lot too. More than 7 years I believe. I never even thought I would make it to 40. I didn't think I would from the age of about 26. But now I am 47 and still alive.

I think that depression has a way of making us forget about the times we were happy. IT makes everything seem long and painful. The nice part about it is that when it is treated...we forget how down we were.

That is the truth. I speak as an expert on depression now as I have had it...too many years for so many reasons. I stay on medication now...as I will never not be depressed anymore for long. I feel better now...and I forget how unbearable it feels.

You aren't dead now...and you were never dead before...not literally anyway. As for feeling dead...I can't say. But I know that I felt like I lost a few years of my life as well.

Feel better you have a friend listening.

Jody

JODARTHA

"Manage your health or it will manage you"

Jonathan90125
Incredible Member (2000+ posts)

4098 Posts
Gratitude: 276
Very honest

Posted - 03/30/2013 : 08:30:39

Thanks for your caring commets jodartha.

I haven't thought about suicide at all since I met Jackie, not even fleetingly. She is the best anti depressant I have ever had.

Although I think my SSRI seroxat and my neuroleptics sulpiride and respiridone and Haloperidol have helped, what has helped me most all is loving contact from friends and family. Most of all the biggest triad of help came from my mum, Jackie and God, closely followed by my brother Gareth,my friends Simon Jimmy my pastor Iain my friends Bob and Graham and Stephen and Malcolm and Paul and my chess pals.

There have been lots of other things have hlpeed to a lesser degree, the fish oils, getting an education, playing football in my 20s (too unfit now!) contact with pdoc CPN and GP losing a bit of weight, reading, improved public awareness through things like 'Eastenders' and 'Shine' and a beautiful mind' A more mature atitude, the Richmond fellowship (quite a big one that)having a computer to play with.

At its worst the depression in 1993 was HIDEOS I mean it was a TORMENT, mental self torture. But I am long over that now.

I am probably not dead. Thankyou for kind reply

Paper is more patient than people:- Anne Frank