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guru
Super Member (250+ posts)
288 Posts
Gratitude: 51
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 Posted - 12/31/2014 : 05:11:17
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Did anyone here see the film 'Broken Flowers,' by Jim Jarmusch? That's how I feel. I sit, catatonic, sometimes, seeing illusions on my room's walls, while I entertain a distraction such as music, like Opera, or reading, such as an oriental mystic. It's like seeing shadows on Plato's Cave. I feel inertia, I feel like chain-smoking cigarettes and not doing anything. I vegetate. This is all dictated by a reigning state of depression. I have no motivation to start any new project, like a seething apathy, and remain sedentary, with nothing to do, besides ruminating and searching for a vague 'Higher Power' that will give depth and dimension and actual living to my boring existence. I contemplate nothing, really. It is pure fantasy what I see.......and I pray to nothing, amidst this vague existence, locked in my room of forsaken dreams, absolutely hermetic, and closed-off from society and reality (the world). I remain like a shadow of my former ( ideal) self, thinking much, tormenting myself much-but achieving nothing. There are ofc rays of hope, but day in and day out-there seems to be no exit from this 'into the ashtray, out of the ashtray' existence. (A song by the band Fugazi.) I am also reminded of the song 'Nothingness,' by the band Living Color.  |
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| chelle25
Incredible Member (2000+ posts)
7614 Posts
Gratitude: 319
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Posted - 12/31/2014 : 05:43:59
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Hi guru,
Have you ever thought of joining a mental,health group. Wherevthey have group meetings once or twice a week?
My mother goes to them and it gets her out of the house and around people to socialize.
This can't be healthy for you to just sit in your room all day. |
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| guru
Super Member (250+ posts)
288 Posts
Gratitude: 51
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Posted - 12/31/2014 : 06:36:47
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quote:
Originally posted by chelle25
Hi guru,
Have you ever thought of joining a mental,health group. Wherevthey have group meetings once or twice a week?
My mother goes to them and it gets her out of the house and around people to socialize.
This can't be healthy for you to just sit in your room all day.
Thx for the advice, I really appreciate it |
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| Jet
Super Member (250+ posts)
654 Posts
Gratitude: 46
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Posted - 05/09/2015 : 12:59:34
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Hi guru,
Yep that's me too, does it ever stop, does anyone know?
I've been like this since I was running the world about 12yrs ago...
Love jet
Xxx
'Forget the pot, enjoy the rainbow' |
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Vague nothingness
