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ast000667
Starting Member
33 Posts
Gratitude: 3
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 Posted - 11/24/2006 : 11:40:10
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I undergo cognitive therapy with my psychologist on a weekly basis. I'm learning how to question my feelings and how to seperate my initial paranoid ideas and challenge them. It's very difficult for me to find a difference between my emotions and reality. I feel paranoid, I end up believing my paranoid ideas.
Catching myself before I believe the paranoia and anxiety is the hardest part for me. It's difficult to swollow the idea that I feel and percieve things incorrectly. A pride issue? Could be. I used to think I had the natural ability to understand anything. Nowadays I barely know my real self. Must seperate my self from my illness.
I had a pretty unconventional upbringing, which makes the line between symptoms and idiosynchrasy blurred sometimes.
Gud är i Himlen, Allt är Rätt med Världen. |
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| Vickytoria
Super Member (250+ posts)
524 Posts
Gratitude: 138
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Posted - 02/08/2007 : 15:07:45
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hi ast,
I too felt in my final year of secondary school that I had the natural ability to understand everything and anything put before me. I had reached a pre-psychotic high and when I wasn't given much stimulation, I crashed. Now I barely know myself, just like you say about yourself. It requires someone else to tell me what i'm like to start seeing it.
Also, I have a hard time knowing if there is anything true and solid in life, like is anything knowable? So I hang from a thread, tenuously, precariously.
I woke up today and turned on the computer. I asked myself why I get up in the morning. I knew it was because of my computer. It used to be for coffee. It seemed it had to be some sort of addictive habit before I could find the motivation to get up.
I am looking at a therapy group I can go to nowadays.
I think if you can find reason in your life to do things, such is the right way to go.
Vee
"To comprehend the nectar
Requires sorest need."
--Emily Dickinson
http://www.schizophreniadigest.com/
http://www3.telus.net/vywrite/
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| Vickytoria
Super Member (250+ posts)
524 Posts
Gratitude: 138
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Posted - 02/11/2007 : 01:34:47
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Hi again ast000667,
Is that quote at the end Swedish or Dutch? Danish? I'm trying to recognize different languages when I see them in print, but the Scandinavian subset are hard to differentiate, I find.
Thanks for sharing,
Vickytoria
"To comprehend the nectar
Requires sorest need."
--Emily Dickinson
http://www.schizophreniadigest.com/
http://www3.telus.net/vywrite/
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drawing a line
