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Schizophrenia Community
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 Posted - 06/20/2016 : 13:20:53
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Posted - 06/20/2016 : 13:47:43
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Professor Elyn Saks Has Good Insight Into Her Schizophrenia
That Is Uncommon
Tragically, it often is very difficult for psychotic individuals to realize that they are psychotic.
Thus they can have hallucinations or auditory hallucinations ("hearing voices") for years before they realize that this is abnormal. Usually this realization only comes after antipsychotic medication rids them of these psychotic symptoms.
That is the tragedy of psychosis - it impairs the very part of the brain that tells the person what is reality. To psychotic individuals, their delusions or hallucinations are just as "real" as anyone's reality.
For example, the "voices" they hear inside or outside of their head sound just as loud and just as real as the normal voices others hear.
The delusions that occur with schizophrenia also are experienced as being totally true.
A patient of mine once told me that his parents murdered him every night. I asked him then how could he be still alive? He couldn't answer this, but remained convinced that he was being murdered every night.
These two examples show how totally "true" hallucinations and delusions appear to be to a psychotic individual. Healthy individuals can have similar delusions or hallucinations after waking up from major surgery and the use of a general anesthetic.
Once, after I had major surgery, I woke up thinking I was flying in my hospital bed over mountains. It looked totally real to me, and I was totally awake. Fortunately after an hour, this hallucination disappeared as the general anesthetic wore off.
One lady with schizophrenia said her illness is like "you are wide awake in a dream you can't turn off".
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Posted - 06/20/2016 : 13:56:09
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Schizophrenia Support Group Members Discuss Whether They Believe They Are "Psychotic"
Do You Think You Are Psychotic?
In the first episode of schzophrenia, treatment with antipsychotic medication usually totally removes the psychotic symptoms.
However, if individuals with schizophrenia stop their antipsychotic medication, the psychosis almost invariably returns. With each return of a psychotic episode, schizophrenia becomes more refractory to treatment with antipsychotic medication.
Thus it is essential that individuals with schizophrenia continue lifelong on their antipsychotic medication, or risk their illness eventually becoming totally refractory to treatment.
The following are the answers members of a schizophrenia support group posted to the question "do you think you are psychotic?" It is significant that only one member answered "yes".
- My psychiatrist and psychologist tell me I am but idk I still think I am just a little bit different but not that I am psychotic. i know i am not "normal" or that i dont believe the same things as everyone else but that doesnt mean that i dont still believe/experience what i do. i just think my reality is different but that it is still real.
- I recognize that my reality is vastly different than that of other people's, and I recognize that 99% of people think I am psychotic. But I still believe what I do about reality. So I don't really know how "insightful" I'm considered to be.
- Me too. My family and friends think I'm psychotic, they just don't understand reality the way I do.
- normal people just don't get it..they see the world their way, I see it quite differently..probably sometimes behave quite differently..and because of that I may be called psychotic..whether or not I'm one I have no idea whether or not I'm psychotic.
- I've been asking my doctor this for years. I asked the new therapist yesterday and she told me only if I wasn't in reality. I'm not sure what "reality" is, considering my paranoia started at 9. My hallucinations started at 13 and became non stop by 16/17. I've asked so many people and so many doctors but everyone says "I don't know". How am I supposed to know if no one else knows?!
- My therapist says I am.
- I asked my boyfriend and he said "at times". I asked when and he said that "I never remember".
- I never know that I am psychotic until I am no longer "psychotic". As of right now, I feel like I was definitely psychotic all the times I've been in the hospital and I was definitely psychotic when I was hearing voices, but I can say that now because I am not hearing voices because my meds are actualy working!
- If my voices talk literally 24/7, how am I supposed to know?
- I've been wanting an answer for years but no one will give me a solid answer.
- i think its as real as any reality. my paranoia means ive been watched over. my crazy thoughts were a contemplation of the spiritual world. i was simply someone with access to the best of both worlds and it was my job to speak about it.
- For some reason, not know if or when I am is very irritating
- I only get psychotic breaks that last 1 full day at most. When im psychotic i dont realize it, but my husband does and he never tells me my ideas are wrong or delusional he just reminds me of real stuff. For example, i was psychotic yesterday and took off all my clothes and started shaking and saying i was trapped and needed to leave, and at that moment i really felt that was reality, but he looked into my eyes and says im safe and everything is okay and he understands how i feel trapped, but for my safety i shouldnt run outside naked, let go to the back porch instead. Thank god i have him.
- When I'm psychotic I don't know. Later I shudder when I think of it
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Posted - 06/20/2016 : 13:59:49
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Schizophrenia Support Group Members Discuss Whether They Hear "Voices"
When Do You Mainly Hear Your Voices?
About 85% of individuals with schizophrenia, at some point in their illness, hear voices that others in the same room can't hear.
Members of a schizophrenia support group posted the following answers to the question "when do you mainly hear your voices?"
- Mine are at evening/nightitme but sometimes rarely during the day. Meds have dulled down my voices quite a bit which I'm fortunate for as I have less periods where I can't handle them. Though over the past month or two this one particular voice has grown incredibly evil and it's really hard to hear him every day.
- I usually hear mine at night, but it isn't weird for them to happen during the day either, they just don't happen as often.
- Chronologically, I hear voices in desultory fashion, and at times I hear more than one voice at the same time.
- Usually at night unless I'm dealing with a lot of stress. In that case they like to join the party.
- Almost always at night but they also pop in when I'm in a stressful or uncomfortable situation
- ALL THE TIME, when I am not concentrating hard on something. They guide me, comment on stuff, and are really funny.
- Right now one is telling me not to tell (He just screamed NOOOOO!) while the other assures him it will all be OK and another one wants me to tell
- if im not on meds they are pretty much constant. sometimes they come back when i get really emotional or stressed out.
- In the hospital is when there the worst lately meds arent working so now I'm hearing them day and night
- Mine start in the morning, stick around through the day, take a break in the evening, then sometimes come back at night.
- My voices are pretty much consistent throughout the day unless I'm distracted. Depending on how bad I am, it varies as to how much is needed to distract me.
- Currently watching TV, reading or intently browsing the internet will do the trick but when I was worse, I would still hear the voices over the TV for example.
- I hear them very often. And they do tend to get louder for me at night and early in the morning. During the day I can distract myself more.
- I hear them off and on throughout the day
- *aliens voice* they mostly come at night..........mostly..............and then in the morning. basically any time my headphones are out. he's easier to tolerate as a looming presence than any of his other manifestations.
- all the time! like he just said that this is dumb and i should kill everyone around me :3 but y'know, whatever
- I've had voices that are commanding like that. It sucks I'm sorry you deal with that too.
- the devil talks to me throughout the day trying to encourage me to do very bad things and tries to make me very paranoid about people around me,the other voice; a guy in his late 30s called james tends to be worse at night and some times i hear the devil and james arguing.
- usually when I'm stressed out or I make a bad grade on a test sometimes they come during night or they're random throughout the day
- Through the whole day..
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Posted - 06/20/2016 : 14:31:09
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You Can't Talk A Person Out Of Their Psychotic Delusions And Hallucinations
However, A Psychotic Individual Can Be Temporarily Comforted
For schizophrenia, it must be stressed that the only way of permanently decreasing or removing delusions and hallucinations is by the use of antipsychotic medication.
A delusion is a persistent false psychotic belief that is maintained despite indisputable evidence to the contrary. Likewise a psychotic hallucination is believed despite indisputable evidence to the contrary.
You can browbeat an individual with schizophrenia, and force them to state that they no longer have their delusions or hallucinations - but they still have them.
The fear that accompanies these delusions and hallucinations often does respond to comforting by others. However, the underlying delusions and hallucinations still persist.
In this regard, schizophrenia is unlike a psychotic mood disorder; since the psychosis in a mood disorder only lasts a few weeks or months, and then disappears when the mood disorder recovers.
To illustrate this point, the next 2 posts are transcripts of what two psychotic members of a schizophrenia support group posted over a 2 year period. Key Points
When you read these transcripts, see if the following is true:
- Delusions and hallucinations are persistent false psychotic beliefs or perceptions that are maintained despite indisputable evidence to the contrary.
- The only times when these psychotic group members improved was after their psychiatric hospitalizations (when they were forced to take antipsychotic medication). Once discharged from hospital, they went off their antipsychotic medication and quickly returned to being psychotic.
- The psychotic group member's posts show that, when their psychotic episode returned, their delusions were virtually word-for-word an exact repeat of their last psychotic episode.
- The other support group members (not shown) tried to talk these 2 psychotic members out of their delusions and hallucinations, but despite years of trying, it never worked.
Now let's read these two schizophrenia support group member's transcripts.
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Posted - 06/20/2016 : 14:43:18
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Timeline Of Posts By A Schizophrenia Support Group Member With "Demons"
[07-02-2015] "Um i am not sure what to call this but a while ago i my psychologist said i had to go to the hospital because i was going to hurt myself. Anyway that time i was there i made the mistake of telling the doctors about the voices and how i dont think the world is real and a bunch of other stuff even though one of the people in my head warned me not to i was stupid anyway as the doctors said they wanted to help. Anyway the doctor said i had to stay there because they were worried and that there might be some "psychosis" involved and after that i shut up and lied and didnt tell them if anything was happening and they said they were going to get a court order to force me to have meds which i narrowly missed due to a change of law in my area. Since that time i had not brought up those thoughts with anyone until a week or 2 ago with my psychologist (it had been a few years) and last session he made me take a test thing because he doesnt want to be missing anything with me and now i am worried. I dont want to end up in the hospital again because the doctors there are evil and they want to hurt me anyway i guess what i am asking is, is it likely that they may think i am psychotic because i get how someone might think that but i am not they just dont know the whole story.
i dont have the voices that often mostly whispering and i am pretty sure they are the spirits but i really dont think i am psychotic.
i am seeing a psychiatrist as well but i dont talk to him much i dont know if i can trust him.
I was tested for non psych related issues a while ago and they haven't really changed much since then so I think everyone thinks it is psych related but I don't know I don't really trust doctors in general plus I go to say something and then I freeze also the people in my head don't want me to talk to my psychiatrist because they think he wants to hurt us well they think he will if I tell him certain things which is why I have not mentioned most of this stuff since that hospital visit even the other times I was there after that I just told them I wasn't hearing stuff when they asked and I got to leave a lot faster.
I get (voices) both ones inside my head and ones outside my head and then sometimes thoughts from inside my head come out of my head and I can hear them outside my head and most of my thoughts I don't feel are mine like I don't think they come from me some of them are the OCD I think but I also think of the OCD as separate to me more like it is an entity and then also from the other people in my head. When I hear the whispering it scares me quite a bit they used to tell me to hurt things but now as soon as i hear them I start trying to do things which make other noises so I can't hear them as much cause I get too scared to move otherwise.
[07-03-2015] I am already seeing a psychologist and a psychiatrist privately. I dont want to take meds because i think they will hurt me. I am worried that my psychologist/psychiatrist will think i am psychotic when i am not because i dont want them to force me to take meds. Sometimes my voices scare me but they aren't the biggest thing I am dealing with at the moment and most of the time I can ignore them so they don't cause me that much trouble I guess.
[07-14-2015] I feel like there are demons everywhere and they are following me and it is getting worse I am having panic attacks and crying because I don't want them to come into my bedroom or hurt me and I don't want to talk to my psychologist about it because he and my psychiatrist already think I am psychotic but I don't think so but I didn't know where to put this but does this even sound like psychosis? I really do just think it is the demons though.
[07-15-2015] For me logically nothing exists nothing is really real so if I say nothing is real then fine neither are demons but if everything else is real then the demons must be too.
[07-16-2015] I do try and just accept that they are there but I get scared they will hurt me because I think they are powerful and can make bad things happen.
[07-19-2015] Nighttime is the worst because I feel them EVERYWHERE and see glimpses but I think they try and hide from me but it is hard because now I have a whole bunch of OCD rituals which are connected to this.
[07-20-2015] Ok firstly I am 99.9% sure that I can tap into my psychic abilities anyway sometimes I want to talk to my psychologist about this stuff but I don't want him to think I am psychotic my psychiatrist already thinks I am at times but this is not anyway should I just keep it to myself or should I tell him?
[07-21-2015] Psychic abilities: I don't think I will mention it I think there is enough other stuff happening to talk about at the moment.
[07-26-2015] Psychic abilities: I was only thinking about trying to access them to try and get rid of something but I am worried that if I do I will end up with more problems than I started with I do tell my psychologist some things but it is hard because I never know who I can trust or who is real.
[08-01-2015] Psychic abilities: It is not all consuming I have given up on it anyway because I think there are bad sprints attached to me and if I tried to do that I think it would let them in further and also let other bad things in so I decided against it for now.
[07-26-2015] I am at the ignore point at the moment I just keep trying to pretend it isn't there.
[07-27-2016] I do hear whispers sometimes they are louder than other times. I have been trying for over a year to pretend the demons are not real and it isn't work. i dont think i am a self though or have one i dont know how to explain it i dont know how to become something that doesnt seem to exist.
[07-28-2015] I don't feel like I exist I think if I even have a me it must be in pieces because I certainly don't feel whole ever I don't know how to explain what I am thinking lately all of my words have been getting mixed up and it is tiring.
[08-05-20151] It is like they are around every corner hiding waiting to jump out at me. The hospital is a bad place. Because the doctors are evil and they are mean to me whenever I am there also they lie a lot and then lie about lying.
[08-06-2015] I have one (person who tried to help) but she has done all she can.
[11-24-2015] Ok I am going to try and word this carefully cause it is a bit well I will just try and say it.
If you were to say to a mental health professional that you respectfully disagree that you are psychotic would they take you seriously or would they assume you were even more psychotic because you didn't agree with them? Would they give you a chance to explain why you don't agree or would they just ignore you. When this word (psychosis) has come up for me I have never said anything I just sat there but I kind of feel like I would have liked to have said I disagree only I was too scared.
[11-28-2015] I don't want to be aggressive about it I just don't want them to not know if I am feeling a certain way about something if I did say something i it would be all quiet.
Ok I really don't know what this is but I sometimes I can't speak like I literally can't get the words out of my mouth or I will stutter or sometimes the words will mix and I get weird half words and also sometimes I stop mid way through a sentence cause I can't remember what I was saying but like this happens often and also another thing is when I am writing sometimes I forget which letters are which and like I will mix things up and I can't read like I can't process the words in my mind like I see them but I can't work out the whole sentence and I am not dyslexic because this has only been. Happening in the last maybe year and a half. Anyway I really don't know what this is so any advice would be great.
[11-30-2015] I was just looking stuff up and came across something called negative symptoms and wondered if that might be to do with it.
[03-09-2016] my psychiatrist and psychologist say i am psychotic i do not think it am but do you agree with them?
i think they are trying to hurt me. this is kind of complicated so sorry if i am explaining it badly. anyway there are "others" in my head that are not me and they put thoughts in my head and show me things and tell me to do things they are magical and they are from another world. they say that (lets call them A and B) A made this world and it is fake and that A was not supposed to make this world and by making this world it was bad to B and disrupted the balance. B and the others in my head are on the same side and they want me to do some things so that i can go back to the real world and bring evidence of what A did to the ones who kind of like govern the real world so that A does not do the bad things again and so that they stop. because A made this world A is controlling my doctors so that they try and stop me from doing what B wants and A is also controlling the people around me so there are always people watching me and if i am not careful they will hurt me. also i think there are demons attached to me which may be A's doing but i am not sure about that but there are demons everywhere and i can feel them and they whisper in my ear sometimes and say bad things they scare me. the demons also come from one of the other worlds well some of them not all of them my doctors do not know all of this they just know there are others in my head and about that there are demons attached to me. my doctors want me to take medication but i cant because the others in my head say it is poison and that they are evil and that they want to hurt me. the others also say that about the people at the hospital. the others tell me to hurt myself and sometimes to hurt other people.
They put thoughts in my head that are not my thoughts and sometimes they tell me something and will make something happen to show me stuff.
i really dont know what to do i am tired i wish people could just accept that people are different and that that doesnt mean they need to be taking "medication" or that they are crazy it is perfectly acceptable to believe in demons in other cultures so why cant i without being told i am "sick" all the time i am not just because others dont understand doesnt mean ugh i am so tired of this i am not sick and them saying that just proves my point.
i think one of my doctors put something in my head which is why i keep having the bad thoughts and why i cant make them stop.
[03-10-2016] why is it that when people think you are psychotic they treat you like you are incompetent and stupid and like you are weak and they ugh i am so sick or people not treating me like a human being like why do they have to be so patronising. does anyone else get treated badly because of this.
[03-11-2016] i can't take meds because the others in my head wont let me they say it will hurt me and it is poison
[05-26-2016] I have decided not to bother trying to explain things to my psychiatrist anymore as there is no point I do not believe my problem is medical and though he does he is just going to have to deal because it isn't. He is not able to understand no one really is other than the others and the ones on that side because "He" won't let anyone understand and I have too much to do I have a lot of the magic stuff to do and they have given me a timeline where certain things have to be done by and I can't fail with this stuff but I don't know how to tell him I will not be going much longer without him doing something how should I word it so that he knows what I am trying to say?
[05-30-2016] So i am back in hospital again i was tricked into coming here by the staff at the house and didnt get to see either my psychologist or psychiatrist i was super mad at the whole situation so i ended up kicking all the furniture and stuff and then they made me take some lorazepam and now they want to keep me for the night. I am so mad right now.
[06-07-2016] ok well so i need advice or opinions or both cause i dont know what to do i dont know if i should see my psychiatrist anymore as i am not convinced my problem is medical. my psychiatrist thinks i am psychotic and has said so many times but i do not think i am my psychologist also thinks i am psychotic but that is a separate issue. anyway my psychiatrist says i need to be on medication but the demons and the others in my head say i cant and shouldnt take it because it will get rid of my magical powers and they need me to have those powers to do things for them and some other very important things but they say medications will hurt me and that the doctors want to hurt me.
do you think i should keep seeing him and do you think i am psychotic like he says?
i am just magical like i have powers and stuff and i can talk to the demons and the others in my head are angles Satans angels and God sends bad demons to try and hurt me because right now everything is reversed and it is hard to explain but i do not think i am psychotic and i dont know how to explain that to my psychiatrist.
[06-08-2016] it is not as simple as deciding what I want not that that is even simple like this is the whole universe at stake here if I screw things up. I don't mean to sound dismissive I am just trying to clarify but finding words is hard today.
[06-14-2016] the demons wont leave me alone i cant sleep because they are scaring me and they have said they wont go and they wont stop trying to get inside me. they want me to do things i dont know that i can the others in my head are mad at me they are busy as well because of the mess i made and cause i didnt do what they said i tried and i failed. i am scared i cant do this i dont know what to do anymore i am so tired and scared and sad all the time. it is my fault i should have done what the others said. i cant do this.
i cannot take medication the others in my head wont let me they say is it going to hurt me. and they can hurt me i am really scared i dont what to do.
I don't know who I can trust anymore and I cannot do what they can they have a lot more magic than I do. The others in my head I trust but there are so many of the demons I don't know which is which and some have kind of been trying to trick me so I have to be extra cautious I don't know what to do anymore I can't make it stop.
I am trying but I don't think I can fight them anymore they won't leave I have been trying since I was little but they won't go until I do what they ask they said they would give me a break until I was older and they did but now I am older and they want me to do all the stuff for them which is very difficult and exhausting. I can't make this stop I can't do this.
[06-15-2016] i am so tired i have been trying to ignore them but that makes them mad everyone is made at me even the angels well they are more disappointed with me than mad but still it hurts i am tired i still have to do what they want but it is so hard."
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Posted - 06/20/2016 : 14:44:33
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Timeline Of Posts By A Schizophrenia Support Group Member Wanting To Remove A "Computer Chip"
[08-17-2015] "Yeah so as I've gone on about before I believe there's a chip in my arm. I used to think it was in my head and very well may be there. But now I'm thinking there is no chip, this is delusional and I need to accept the help. I hear voices that tell me there's a chip there but there isn't. There couldn't be, I've even had an mri of my brain showing no chip and xrays of my arms showing no chip. It's bull ****e. There's no chip there. After so much believing I can finally say, there is no chip there. End of.
[08-17-2015] It's kind of hard to let go of something I believed so much for about a year, but I'm over it!
[08-19-2015] It may seem small but this delusion has been my dominant problem so I think I'm making progress.
I thought my voices where communicating with me through the chip, because they said they where. Now I'm thinking they're just hallucinations and nothing more. I'm not going to try and fight them anymore, I'm just going to accept that they're there, notice them and let them float away without giving them any emotion whatsoever. Easier said than done, but it's a process!
[11-03-2015] Where do you mainly hear your voices? Mine are at evening/nightitme but sometimes rarely during the day.
[11-04-2015] Meds have dulled down my voices quite a bit which I'm fortunate for as I have less periods where I can't handle them. Though over the past month or two this one particular voice has grown incredibly evil and it's really hard to hear him every day.
[02-15-2016] I'm in a peril. I need this thing out of my head now. I have some tools available to me But I'm not even sure how to go about it. The internet hasn't been very helpful so I'm asking here.
[02-16-2016] I've been off my depot for two weeks but it should still be in my system so it's not the meds. I don't need meds anymore.
I'm going to get a magnet (suggested by another member as a way to deactivate the microchip).
I believe that you guys think there's nothing there. But I know there is, they put it in when I was a teenager.
I'm going to a&e (hospital) tomorrow to make them take it out
I really need this thing out, do you think if i go to the ER dept they'll take it out? Or treat me like a crazy person?
[02-17-2016] Got my depot today. I feel absolutely rotten. Really frustrated that they can't do anything to help me but hoping the meds will help dull it for a while.
[02-18-2016] How am I supposed to get on with my life if I have to take this feckin depot. What about when I want to have children and I can't come off it. The baby goes into withdrawals? I'm an absolute waste of a human being.
[02-19-2016] I feel better today. No urges to cut my head open.
I'm going to do more research to prove I'm not completely mental.
[02-23-2016] Found some books on amazon about people who have chips illegally implanted in their bodies.
Also going to go to my pdoc on thursday with an ultimatum, get me and xray or I'm going at it myself.
I think it's outside of the skull but connected to my brain. If I can get rid of the chip it'll cut off the connections within the brain.
I'm just after figuring out why this is happening to me. I got overcome by this a week or so after my second year comp sci exams in college. That summer I was planning to begin research for my thesis in quantum computing. I'm a genius and this has been known since I was a child, they implanted the chip when I was a teenager and only activated it when they needed to. I was getting too close, if someone was to make the theoretical a physical working machine and make it open source to everyone they'd lose billions, trillions. Especially someone with my skills. They're doing this to get in the way of my research and interests, to dumb me down and get me branded with a mental illness so I'd never be taken seriously.
I never got a chance to start my research and by their doing dropped out of college 4 months later. Proof that there's a chip in my head.
I woke up two days later after a "procedure" in a psychiatric hospital with two black eyes, common occurance when ones skull has been opened. I was 16.
I hear voices through the chip, they can read my mind. They tell me to do things. They've asked me to join them on occasion. I would like to meet them but they never show up.
I hear noises all over the house that no one else hears.
People follow me, I reckon it's them looking at me seeing what I'm up to.
When I'm in appointments all I hear is "don't talk to him, we'll help you, don't talk to him, he doesn't believe you, we can help you"
These are real people talking to me through the chip in the back of my head. They are an organisation set up to keep those that can change the world down. DOWN!!!!! Nothing is the same anymore. It's all done through hi tech systems that even I don't understand. But I will. I will educate. I will help others. Straight after I rip this demon from my head.
[02-26-2016] If you have schizophrenia, then yeah you probably should take medication. But for people like me and the OP who don't have a psychotic disorder but are being pushed onto meds it's fundamentally wrong. They're being shovelled down people's throats based on some dudes subjective opinion. Christ, even I thought for a second I needed them because of the psychiatric propaganda being spouted everywhere I go. They shouldn't be used on the amount of people they're currently being used on.
[03-01-2016] I felt something under my skin.
[03-07-2016] I've had some developments, i can now feel a lump where the chip should be meaning i should be able to get it out. I was in town today and bought scalpels in an art shop. So we'll see how we get on.
Been in touch with a number of other victims to this international experiment being undertaken. I'm hoping they can provide me more insight. The general concensus is to not take the meds so I won't be getting my depot next week and then that's it. I'm staying off it.
[03-07-2016] How many of you believe you have an implant of some kind, whether it be for torture or that it's causing your symptoms. (Did an online poll: Do you have an implant? Of 20 members that responded: 50% answered "No", 30% answered "Yes", and 20% said "I used to think I did".)
[04-03-2016] I'm sorry for being such a hyperactive, psychotic, nutjob! Yes, that's what I have been. Still not quite on the level head but things are getting clearer with this med increase that I can see that I'm an idiot and thoughts shouldn't be let out of my head without the supervision of an adult.
I may have offended some people, went on a few rants... well... I definitely did that and I apologise to anyone on the receiving end of it.
I like to make jokes but I'm really not very well at the moment and I'm struggling not to project that outwards in an over the top hilariously silly way.
If anyone was offended, I do sincerely apologise. I like this place and I've made some great friend here. Thanks guys!
[05-29-2016] So, I'm not psychotic. Never have been psychotic and have a low chance of becoming psychotic with my history of having never had psychosis.
So I'm coming off my antipsychotic depot. Due it on Thursday and I've informed them I won't be there. They threatened to discharge me from their services completely, but I'm still seeing a psychologist and after a bit of talking I convinced them to let me keep seeing the psychologist.
Last time I went off the meds I went a bit loopy. If any of you know me you will probably remember all the posts about Irish nationalism being posted at a consistent rate of 2^64
I think this was just withdrawals. I've settled down a little bit now. Should start feeling back to normal in two weeks and a slight improvement slowly on from there: get my attention span back, not sleep so much, control my weight gain.
I think psychology is the way to go to deal with the voices and my concerns about the chip in my head. I've applied through freedom of information for my MRI and am currently looking for a specialist who might look at it for me, the chip is there. I just need a professional who isn't being paid under the table to find it for me. Medication isn't going to 'fix' something that is very real.
I'm not telling anyone I'm coming off my meds. So if anyone here notices any real changes with me could they tell me? So I know if I'm going through withdrawals and don't realise it. It'd be nice to have a bit of info if I lose insight temporarily while the drug is coming out of my system.
My doctors said I won't get any withdrawals because the depot slowly goes out of your system over a number of weeks. This is bull, after what happened me the last time.
When I came off my meds I believed I was in the IRA, I still believe the voices that talk to me are in the IRA but I don't think I am anymore.
[06-07-2016] I'm seeing a psychologist and I think it's a better way to learn to cope than with meds. He advised against it, but that's all he said about it. He doesn't concern himself with the medication side of things. Only how I am doing.
[06-11-2016] Just over a week off meds and feeling good. Exam coming up, little bit of stress but nothing major. I'm starting to think this medication was causing my anxiety and coping problems. The voices are controlled by the chip, that's still there.
[06-16-2016] Yes, some people do have microchips in their heads. I'm not or have never been psychotic so this isn't a delusion. It does bother me having it but I'm making the steps towards getting it removed the right way instead of taking it into my own hands.
I'm off meds and the voices haven't gotten any worse, they also don't go on about me taking meds any more, they're happy with me. When I get rid of the chip, I get rid of the voices."
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Posted - 06/20/2016 : 14:51:57
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That Was A Lot Of Reading
So let's take a break and have another fun quiz to test your memory on all of this.
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| warbird
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| warbird
Super Incredible Member (10000+ posts)
100629 Posts |
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| warbird
Super Incredible Member (10000+ posts)
100629 Posts |
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| warbird
Super Incredible Member (10000+ posts)
100629 Posts |
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| warbird
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100629 Posts |
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Topic #1a
