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guru
Super Member (250+ posts)
288 Posts
Gratitude: 51
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 Posted - 12/06/2016 : 17:43:29
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I hear voices. PDocs have called them 'mystical-religious deliria.'
I hear voices of angels. Unfortunately, I also hear voices of demons.
Is it a call? How can I tell, how can I differentiate?
I guess it's gut-instinct. I guess it's intuition.
Denial?
No - despite medications, and a quite heavy dosage of them - I'm still not free from being 'stalked' and 'harassed' by these voices........
So I guess I live in a Carmelite nun world? So be it. (it is certainly far away from the 'reality' my peers live in.)
Praise to Heaven, condemnation of hell, every inch, every mood? There is nothing I can do but perceive, and 'listen........'
So you may judge I am tormented, rightly so, and I am; despite all the efforts at chasing these illusions from my mind, there is nothing I can do....the voices go on repeater mode, and give me no sign of relief.
'You're damned to Hell, you're saved in Heaven' - I hear this also, constantly, and I see lights around my room. Sometimes bright, sometimes opaque and dark. These paranormal 'lights' chase me.....
What to do?
Carry on........I must confess I tried a monastic life, to deal with this premonition more carefully - but I was rejected like a bad wolf, or coyote.......
Sad truth.
My 'psychosis' may be meta-real, metaphysically valid, maybe it exists in a spiritual realm beyond regular consciousness....but it has profaned my 'virginity' where I am 'raped' by a plethora of chaotic voices, drumming through my head like a sickening delirium.  |
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Voices
