MyTherapy Discussion Forums

Š1995-2016 Phillip W. Long, M.D.

Schizophrenia Community

Nickname:	Password:
Save Password

All Forums

Schizophrenia: Specific Topics

Personal Stories

my story

New Topic

Reply to Topic

Printer Friendly

Author

Topic

Page: of 8

kalithedestroyer
Starting Member

7 Posts
Gratitude: 4

Posted - 07/31/2011 : 12:19:57

Things started getting weird for me last year in November. A lot of it is hard to remember, and doesn't make any sense, but I will try.

I got cataracts suddenly, and started going blind. I could see well enough to read on my computer at the largest setting. I was blind enough that I didn't leave the house unless I had to , and I was really bored. I have three kids, and my mom spent a lot of time at my house helping me out until I could get my eyes fixed.

My delusions started one day when I opened the fridge. I suddenly had an overwhelming feeling of being one with God. It was overwhelming, because I've always been an athiest. the feeling only lasted a few seconds, but it made me start thinking about religion and mysteries of the universe.

I spent a lot of my time reading about my new passion on the Internet. I started getting an interest in Law of Attraction. I started practicing trying to heal my eyes with my mind.

I was feeling really good all the time, wanting to heal people, and beginning to think I was actually making progress. I started to "feel" the energy of the universe, and how I could manipulate it with my mind.

I was starting to think that there were light and dark energies, and i started suspecting there was a hidden battle, and that only certain people could play in this world and control these energies. I got worried about this, and began to think I could set up energiy fields to protect myself and my family from evil forces.

I got my first cataract surgery about 2 weeks from the start of my delusions. I started seeing auras around people, and thought I could change and effect other people by focusing my energy and manipulating their auras. I spent hours trying to heal my other eye on my own, without the help of surgery. I thought i was succeeding, and told my mom I had healed my eye with my mind.

Things started going really bad soon after that.

My mom offered to watch the kids for a couple days, and I stayed at my sister's house. At this time I think is when my family got together to figure out what to do about me, but I was oblivious.

At my sisters house, my delusions started changing so fast they are hard to keep track of, and contradictory. I thought God was talking to me. I was turning into Athena and all my family were reincarnated gods. I was having a kundalini transformation, and i would become immortal. I had all sorts of psychic and mental powers.

when I came back home after two days, my mom and two sisters wouldn't leave. My other sister was coming from out of town to take me to the psych ward of the hospital she worked at, but I didn't know it at the time.

That night, the delusions turned bad. I thought the devil or some evil force was trying to take over me and my family, and things got really scary for me.My ex took me to the local ER because my sister wasn't there yet.

They gave me ativan and released me. I hadn't slept for a couple days, and still couldn't sleep, so they gave me ambien, which only made my hallucinations worse.Finally my sis got there, and took me to the hospital where they had a bed for me finally. I stayed five days total. I had to wait two days for a bed in the psych ward. I finally got some haldol, which started working almost immediately.

It took me several months after being released to finally come to feel fully sure that none of my delusions are real, and now I'm more devoutly athiest than ever.

I mainly just wanted to tell my story and get all this off my chest, because I can't talk about it to anyone. When I tried talking about it to family members, it seemed to scare and worry them so I stopped.